This January as I sat down to make my 2018 goals from a place of values, fulfilment and alignment, I made a strong pact that I would stretch myself and take massive action daily towards accomplishing my goals. And even if that meant sitting in some serious discomfort and failing miserably in the process. The other thing I told myself is that I would review where I’m at midway, say around 6 months rather than wait till December and then look back. Yes, I know very coach like! So last week, I put on my growth mindset hat and did my own appraisal.
My friends, I discovered that I made 3 powerful changes this year, changes that have impacted my life in a positive way. I’m going to share them with you as they have been so empowering for me. Perhaps you can read this post and see if you want to pick one, two or all three and try them out too in your life as we step into the second half of 2018.
Change 1 - I started owning my wins in a really powerful way: Earlier on this year, in one of my posts I wrote about the importance of finding our inner coach. Just to refresh your memory, an inner coach or captain is the voice who speaks to us kindly yet firmly, compassionately and wisely. Our inner coach can be male or female - someone who inspires us and wants the best from us - a parent, a friend, an aunt, a teacher. An inner coach offers guidance, reassurance and emotional support rather than criticising or being negative. The coach sets firm limits that support our health and wellbeing. Once we really listen and look, the distinction between our inner coach and inner critic becomes very clear.
So this year I’ve channelled my inner coach frequently and almost on a daily basis. This has helped me tremendously. In the past I used to limit myself by using a thinking style called disqualifying positives. This style of thinking is when we disregard positive evidence by deciding that they are unimportant or don’t count. So any wins I had big or small were ignored by me.
This has changed and thanks to my inner coach and a lot of thought work I’ve been able to own my wins in a really powerful and positive way. For instance, here are some of my wins this year that I am ready to shout out – My coaching practice is growing and I’m able to help and coach incredible women on a daily basis; I can proudly say that I’m a blogger and podcaster and I’ve also started doing short video clips – all part of circulating the good stuff and living my life purpose; I’ve gotten out of my comfort zone and put out proposals to various groups to run coaching mastermind classes; I'm now a certified coach with the International Coach Federation, I’ve done more public speaking than I’ve ever in the past; I’ve upped my health and fitness routines; I’m learning and executing a new level of patience with my teenager. Owning these wins big or small has really empowered me.
Change 2: I Channelled My Future Self: I presented myself as who I wanted to be instead of feeling limited by who I currently am. Simply put, I connected and embodied my Future Self. I decided to finally stop looking only into my past to take lessons from there. My past showed me things I had done – so I believed that if I had done something in the past I could do it now. While that was good in some cases it was hugely limiting in many others. My self-limiting belief was I have never done this in the past so I can never do it now. So I decided to change my belief, look into the future find my future self and then work backwards.
This change has been powerful for me the last six months especially with the way I’m moving forward in my business. I’ll give you a couple of examples. Just the way I dress and show up every single day has changed. Earlier if I was working from home I would be so comfortable working in my running or gym clothes. Yoga pants ruled! Now that has changed. Even if I’m working from home I make the effort show up professionally like my future self would. The energy that I’m able to bring into my work even with this small change has been empowering. My coaching practice is barely a year old but I constantly visualise what my practice will be like in 5 years and bring in that energy and style when I work today. Presenting myself as who I want to be instead of feeling limited by who I currently am has been very powerful.
Change 3: I started paying more attention to my words: I wrote about this in one of my earlier posts and I’ve really started getting self-aware and conscious about my choice of words. For instance, I’ve stopped using the word sorry out of context and apologising when there really is no need.
I’ve stopped using words that minimise or disempower. Words can persuade, belittle, justify, insult, compliment and change people in so many ways. Words are a reflection of character. The words we choose and how we employ them determine how we’re received—positively, negatively, influentially. As a coach for women what I say and the words I use to coach matters. Communicating with the right words can make a world of difference. Just paying attention and choosing the right words has been very powerful this year.
There you have it my friends, the three changes I made in my life this year that has empowered and grown me. I know making changes is hard and scary but if you found this useful, why don’t you set some time this week and think about or journal what changes you’ve made in your life the last 6 months that have impacted you personally and professionally.
As a coach I’m a big advocate for change. I recently read Pema Chodron’s book – Living Beautifully: with Uncertainity and Change. It’s a great read and I’ll leave you with this review. If it’s intriguing pick up a copy.
We live in difficult times. Life sometimes seems like a roiling and turbulent river threatening to drown us and destroy the world. Why, then, shouldn’t we cling to the certainty of the shore—to our familiar patterns and habits? Because, Pema Chödrön teaches, that kind of fear-based clinging keeps us from the infinitely more satisfying experience of being fully alive. The teachings she presents here—known as the "Three Commitments"—provide a wealth of wisdom for learning to step right into the river: to be completely, fearlessly present even in the hardest times, the most difficult situations. When we learn to let go of our protective patterns and do that, we begin to see not only how much better it feels to live that way, but, as a wonderful side effect, we find that we begin to naturally and effectively reach out to others in care and support.
I'm Poornima Nair, Certified Life Coach, NLP Practitioner and Founder of Live Authentic Coaching. If you are curious about coaching, interested in being nurtured, inspired and pushed to your edge, to discover and create the relationships, career, lifestyle, finances you are longing for, please reach out to me for a taster of what great coaching does to foster the clarity, mindset, qualities and skills that will allow you to breakthrough.